PART 3
Finding a Sponsor
One of the most crucial steps in the process is finding a member of your city or town council to sponsor the non-discrimination ordinance. In some cities, the city council might be called something different, like a Board of Supervisors, Board of Commissioners, Board of Selectmen, Board of Trustees, or something different. We will stick to using “city council” and “councilmember” throughout this guide for simplicity.
On your city or town’s website, you should be able to find the roster of members of the council. If this information isn’t available online, give City Hall (or the City Clerk’s office) a quick call. In larger cities, councilmembers are likely to have an office phone number and email address on the city website. In smaller towns, you might need to do a bit more leg work to get contact info for councilmembers; again, the City Clerk may be able to help. We also suggest creating a spreadsheet of city council members where you can compile their contact info, track your outreach, and keep notes throughout the process.
After identifying your City Council members, it’s time to take a closer look to see who might be sympathetic to this issue and willing to sponsor legislation. In larger cities, councilmembers might have a campaign website that talks about their identities and legislative priorities. In smaller towns, councilmembers may not have a public online presence. In either case, elected officials are not likely to mention if they’re non-monogamous in their bio!
Here are three ways to approach identifying which member or members of your city council might be open to sponsoring this legislation.
Network-approach: You may not know a sympathetic member of the city council — but depending on the size of your city or town, you’re probably not more than a few degrees of connection away. This is where your allies can come in very helpful! Ask around to see if someone can make an introduction or point you towards a sympathetic councilmember. Reach out to local community organizations, particularly those in the LGBTQIA+ space.
Intersecting identities & priorities: Although councilmembers are not likely to mention online if they are non-monogamous, you can look for other identities and political priorities that might signal openness to this issue. For example, LGBTQIA+ councilmembers are more likely to appreciate the importance of protecting marginalized groups, particularly with respect to family and relationship structure (not to mention that, according to research data, LGBTQIA+ individuals are more likely to be non-monogamous themselves!). Additionally, councilmembers who actively engage with and support social justice movements, rights for marginalized groups, or reproductive rights are often more aligned with the values of equity and inclusion, making them potential allies for this cause.
Cold outreach: As a fallback, you can always just reach out directly to members of your city council to request a meeting. In smaller towns and cities, you may be able to set a meeting or connect directly with councilmembers by phone or email. In larger cities, you’ll probably need some “in” to get on their schedule; however, you may also be able to get in touch with a staffer in their office. It never hurts to try! And remember, you are a concerned constituent of their jurisdiction; your voice matters and should count.
Whether you’ve identified a potential sponsor or are reaching out directly to all of the members of your city council, how you introduce the topic and what you ask for is important.
Getting on the phone with someone is a more effective way to help your outreach stand out, rather than getting lost in an email inbox. After your call, follow up by email to provide additional info.
Approach your outreach with respect and professionalism. Councilmembers and staff are more likely to engage positively with polite and well-reasoned arguments. Clearly articulate why nondiscrimination protections for family and relationship structures are important and how they align with the city’s or councilmember's values and priorities.
Advocacy often requires follow-up. If you don't receive a response to your initial outreach, don't be discouraged. Politely follow up with additional emails or phone calls, reiterating the importance of the issue and offering to provide any additional information or support they might need.
Ensure your communication is straightforward and to the point. Clearly state the issue, why it matters, and what specific action you are asking the councilmember to take. This helps busy councilmembers and staff quickly understand your request and the importance of the issue.
Support your arguments with data, research, and personal anecdotes that highlight the need for non-discrimination protections. Personal stories can be particularly powerful in illustrating the real-world impact of the issue and making it more relatable.
Suggest a meeting to discuss the issue in more detail. This shows your commitment and provides an opportunity for a more in-depth conversation. Be flexible with your availability to accommodate their schedule.
Remember that you’re unlikely to get a commitment to sponsor legislation from your initial outreach alone. Your objective should be to set a meeting with the councilmember (or, in larger cities, possibly a member of their staff such as a legislative director) to discuss the issue further. It might require multiple calls and emails to set a meeting, and even a couple months to get on a busy councilmember’s calendar.
Don’t get discouraged! Persistence is an important part of advocacy.
Congratulations! You got a meeting. This is your chance to make the case for the importance of these protections, and hopefully get a commitment to introduce legislation. Here’s some guidance on how to succeed in the meeting!
Before the meeting, do your homework. Research the councilmember’s past positions and statements on related issues to tailor your pitch accordingly. Familiarize yourself with the template meeting script provided in the Template Language section, adjust it so that it feels comfortable and personal, and practice a couple times.
Bring at least one other advocate, community leader, or personally impacted individual (just make sure to tell the councilmember all of the people who will be attending the meeting beforehand). This can provide diverse perspectives and strengthen your case, and keep the pressure off you alone! Each person can cover different aspects of the issue, share personal stories, or answer specific questions, making your presentation more comprehensive and compelling.
Bring at least one printed copy of the Detailed Information Packet for each meeting attendee. Familiarize yourself with that packet and its contents so that you can refer to specific portions.
You don’t need to have all the answers on the spot. If the councilmember asks a question you can’t answer, it’s perfectly fine to say you’ll follow up with more information later. If you can’t find the answer yourself, reach out to the wider coalition! Your point of contact is info@open-love.org. Then, make sure to follow up with the councilmember promptly to maintain credibility and keep the momentum going.
Remember that the ideal outcome is to get a commitment to sponsor this legislation.
Well done! Finding a sponsor to introduce legislation is the most crucial—and perhaps the most difficult—step to getting legislation passed in your city. This is the point at which our coalition can best step in to help!
Members of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition (PLAC) help adapt [this model ordinance] to conform with your existing city’s code, address potential legal questions, and otherwise work with the bill’s sponsor and other relevant stakeholders (such as the City Attorney) to ensure that the bill that gets introduced is legally sound.
Meanwhile, OPEN (Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy) and the Modern Family Institute can provide support with local grassroots mobilization, media and messaging, expert consultation with key stakeholders, relevant empirical data, letters of support from state and national advocacy organizations, and other coordination support.
With these steps in mind, we suggest that after confirming a sponsor, you reach out to our coalition. Together, we can set up a call with the proposed bill sponsor and, often, the City Attorney. Your point of contact is info@open-love.org.
