Sometimes, one of your parents or guardians can be more affirming of your gender identity than your other parent or guardian. This can affect your life if your non-affirming parent or guardian has a legal right to make medical or other decisions on your behalf. A parent or guardian can have this type of right even if they don’t live with you or raise you. Instead, what matters is what kind of custody rights they have over you. Depending on where you live, this can mean that one or both of your parents or guardians must give their permission before you can seek treatment for your gender dysphoria.If one of your parents or guardians is affirming of your gender identity and the other one isn’t, your affirming parent or guardian can petition a court either to change their custody rights over you, or to get permission from the court for one specific thing, like starting your transition-related care, despite your other parent or guardian’s objection.
If that is something you or your affirming parent or guardian are considering, we strongly recommend that you contact an attorney or legal organization experienced in dealing with legal issues involving trans youth, such as NCLR’s legal helpline at (415) 392-6257 or info@nclrights.org. NCLR can help you and your affirming parent or guardian work with medical experts to educate your non-affirming parent or guardian about the importance of you being affirmed in your gender identity, so that you can resolve the situation without going to court. This could also help you get what you need faster, because the court process can take a very long time, which can conflict with how urgently you need to start treatment for your gender dysphoria.
Some states, namely Florida, are considering proposals that would alter the judicial calculus when considering custody or parental contestation in an anti-LGBTQ+ direction, potentially requiring judges to assume that affirming LGBTQ+ status is not in the best interests of the child, and potentially allowing the state to assume custody of the child. If you are in a state that is hostile to LGBTQ+ rights, please consult with an attorney if you are in a contested hearing
If the situation between your parents or guardians cannot be resolved without petitioning a court, NCLR can also work with medical experts to help you provide documentation to a judge explaining why it is important for your gender identity to be affirmed, and showing that you and your affirming parent or guardian tried your best to reach out to your non-affirming parent or guardian. This is important because many judges do not know a lot about trans issues. The legal standard that a court uses to decide custody matters is something called the “best interest of the child.” This is a very flexible standard that gives a lot of leeway to the judge to decide what is best for you. This means that depending on what your non-affirming parent or guardian argues, a judge could change custody and require you to go live with or be raised by your non-affirming parent or guardian and give that person all decision-making authority over your life. Educating the court about trans issues, with the help of documentation from medical experts, makes it much more likely that the court would rule in your and your affirming parent or guardian's favor.
Some of the states that are making new laws to attack the trans community are trying to use family courts as a weapon. The goal of these laws is to ensure that trans youth will be placed in the custody of a non-affirming parent or guardian.
The strategy is to give a non-affirming parent the option of telling the court that the gender-affirming care you are receiving is actually child abuse, and using the court tools that exist to prevent child abuse to try to prevent you from accessing gender-affirming care.
Right now this law is on the table in Florida, but the law is temporarily blocked from enforcement. We don't know for sure what's going to happen, but all of our movement partners are fighting to keep this law and any others like it from going into effect.
Many of the states that have enacted laws that include provisions to prevent the use of the family courts to attack trans families. If you are trying to leave a state that has this type of law in effect and you want to understand your options, we strongly recommend that you contact an attorney or legal organization experienced in dealing with legal issues involving trans youth, such as NCLR’s legal helpline by phone at (415) 392-6257 or (800) 528-6257. You can also contact the helpline by e-mail at info@nclrights.org
Drop-in centers and shelters offer a safe place where you can stay if you do not want to spend time at home or are unsafe at home. Currently, drop-in centers and shelters that receive money from the federal government cannot discriminate against you because you are trans and have to house you according to your gender identity.
You can often find drop-in centers for trans youth at your local LGBTQ community center. Drop-in centers can offer food, clothing, computers and referrals to other resources, and give you a place to spend time with other LGBTQ youth. CenterLink has this map to find your local LGBTQ community center. There are also a number of organizations that offer temporary housing or transitional housing for LGBTQ youth who need a temporary place to stay away from home.
For help finding temporary housing, you can contact: National Runaway Switchboard: 1-800-RUNAWAY (24-hour hotline)The Trevor Project: (866) 488-7386 by phone and 678-678 for text (24 hour crisis intervention and suicide prevention hotline for LGBTQ youth)
If you are in foster care, the state has the responsibility of taking care of you and ensuring your safety and well being, just like a parent. This includes making sure that you receive food, shelter, education, and medical care, and making sure that you are not bullied, harassed, or mistreated for any reason, including because you are trans. If you feel that you are not being treated fairly while in foster care, you should tell your case worker or attorney/Guardian Ad Litem about the problems you are experiencing. If this doesn't resolve the issue you are having, you can contact NCLR’s legal helpline by phone at (415) 392-6257 or (800) 528-6257. You can also e-mail info@nclrights.org.
If you are being mistreated or abused in your foster or group home, you can also contact: Community United Against Violence: (1-415-333-HELP (4357) (24-hour Safety Line)) National Runaway Switchboard: (1-800-RUNAWAY) The Trevor Project: (1-866-488-7386) (text: 678-678)Trans Lifeline: (1-877-565-8860)If you believe you are in immediate danger, you should call 911.
If you are in juvenile detention or juvenile hall, the state has the responsibility of taking care of you and ensuring your safety and wellbeing, just like a parent. This includes providing you with food, shelter, education, and medical care, and making sure that you are not bullied, harassed, or mistreated for any reason, including because you are trans. You also have the right to not be isolated from other youth in the facility, either as “punishment” for expressing your gender identity, or for “your own safety.”
NCLR and the Center for Children’s Law and Policy have published a model policy recommending best practices for “Transgender, Gender Nonconforming, and Intersex Youth In Confinement Facilities,” which can be found here.If you are being mistreated in juvenile detention or juvenile hall, you should contact NCLR’s legal helpline by phone at (415) 392-6257 or (800) 528-6257. You can also contact the helpline by e-mail at info@nclrights.org.
Emancipation is a legal process through which a court can declare you an adult for legal purposes. That means you wouldn’t need to ask your parents for permission to change your identity documents or make decisions about your medical care. But it also means that your parents no longer have a legal obligation to financially support you. Emancipation could also have serious consequences if, for example, you get arrested and accused of a crime, since you could be charged as an adult. For these reasons and others, courts often require a lot of proof before agreeing to legally emancipate a child from their parents or guardians. Given the serious consequences of emancipation, and since it can be very challenging to live as an emancipated minor, it is only recommended as a last resort.